I now vow to give up getting involved on topics relating to...

Copied and pasted from the I Heart Paws forums...

DOGS!!!!!!!

That's right. That's my new years resolution. When people ask me... don't get involved, remove myself from the conversation. I am too emotionally invested in the topic to be able to walk away satisfied with the average person.

Firstly, while sitting at dinner with my family tonight we were talking about urban areas vs. suburban and middle american areas. How you get lowlives regardless of where you go, just in various concentration. So my uncle mentioned something about the lowlives being the ones who dog fight... and I agreed. I didn't even get into the topic... nobody did when he volunteered the information "But I do believe there are some breeds of dogs that are inherantly -" when I cut him off and said "Please don't say it... just don't talk to me about that please." He continued to say "But I have friends with kids and they raised the dogs nice and the dogs still bit the kids"... and I said "Well then you don't understand the genetics of dogs". My sister jumped up from the table and went inside and we just changed topic... but even though he didn't SAY what I feel he was going to say, I was still bothered. I think he was offended by what I said... but it's better than getting me upset and us fighting about it... IMO at least. (ETA- he was talking about Rottweilers... pulled my sister aside to ask why I cared because he knows Pitties are awesome with kids... but I'm against all breed stereotyping, so I would care anyway!!)

To make it even better, my cousin who I worked with for a long time (you've heard my rants in the past about her), and knows EVERYTHING about puppy mills, BYB's etc from my sister and I is marrying a guy who manages a pet store for his friend that sells puppies and kittens. She decided she wants a "sausage dog" (doesn't even know the breed name)... so my sister brought up the many genetic problems that these dogs have, how they cannot walk up and down stairs, etc etc. She wasn't aware of any of it and replied "Well then we'll build a ramp on our stairs or something" ... well gee... I hope you make it out of velcro and put it on the dogs feet too because I've never met a dog with normal sized legs that could run up a steep enough slope as a flight of stairs!! (hence the reason they are stairs and not just a ramp!)

Regardless, she pulls my sister aside and whispers "Listen, don't tell anyone (meaning me probably) but my fiancee can get a good deal through his pet store and he says they're from breeders in Delaware, not puppy mills... so we're going to do that". So my sister started telling her how it's not true that the dogs are from reputable breeders when my cousin snarkily said "Well, where'd you get Milo from?"... and she explained that she was young (7 years ago!) and it was a huge mistake because she was uneducated about the topic, and that's why she rescued when she decided to get a second dog. So my cousin rolled her eyes... and wherever the convo went, it went. Of course my sister told me this after they left to avoid me "Ka-booming". I felt like there was a fire in my stomach. Of ALL people SHE should know better... but the problem is that she's a whimp with an a$$hole fiancee and let's him brainwash her into his stupidity.

So... as we were driving home Keith and I had a long talk about it... and how it gets me SO upset. We came to the conclusion that from this point on, I just can't preach to people anymore, they aren't worth my breath. I will live my life by example... I have no choice. If someone is going to ask me training advice, advice on how to obtain a dog, what breed to get, yadda yadda... and then just go do what they want anyway... only to hurt ME, why do they deserve to pick my brain in the first place????

So I've decided that I will only be talking about dog related issues on these forums from now on. This is "my part". Other people just don't deserve my knowledge... I've been burned one to many times and emotionally don't have thick enough skin to take it anymore.

I just know that if my cousin does get a puppy from a pet store... I'll look at her even worse than I ever have in my life and it will most likely make me distance myself from her from everything except for "as needed" situations. The worst part is that I'm her maid of honor for her wedding.

So now... I didn't want to carry on much on the forums, but on a blog it's different. Blogs are for carrying on.

So in one night I had my aunt tell me about her friend with two BYB labs who failed to get them altered and now have 5 lab puppies that she's going to "give" away. Thankfully my aunt told her off in a tough love kind of way... good for her!!! Then the uncle comment, then my cousin and then to top off the fucking night...

My BIL's brother (who I guess is my BIL too) is/was engaged to a woman. Long story but they are on a "break" and he's living with his other brother until he knows what is going on with them. They adopted a dog from the city Animal Care & Control about a year ago. She's a cat person, he's a dog person. He's been out of their apartment for not even a week when I get this email from my websites contact form:

Subject: giving my dog up for adoption
Question/Comment: Hi, this is for *my name*, we are related. I need to give *dogs name* up for adoption and I know she knows where to place him. Please have her contact me as soon as possible. Thank you.

She doesn't know that I know they're on a "break"... so immediately I call my BIL to let him know that she's trying to get rid of his dog behind his back. What is wrong with people? I feel like everyday dealing with people makes me die a little inside... it breaks me down, breaks my spirit and makes me lose hope in the human race, in the obviously cruel world that we live in. I always prided myself on being able to look at the good in the world... but when there is so much bad I find it so hard to do.

Can I say "they won"? Because I'm broken... I'm beside myself at how people are willing to make the wrong decision while knowing the right one. And my biggest question of all is: Why is doing the right thing, taking the high road always the hardest road? Why is the wrong decision always the easier thing to do?

Messin' me up!

I wake up late because we had a poker game run until late at our house yesterday... post on blogspot... open the freezer to remove a tupperware of food for thawing since I hate to microwave Maximus' food. I realize that there are only two tupperwares left, and whatever is in the fridge (enough for two servings- and he eats about 5 times a day). So of course this means one tupperware is enough for a day and he'll need more food ON Christmas day. I won't really have time to cook tomorrow OR Christmas day, so I figured I'd go buy a salmon at some point to make the food last until Wednesday.

So I say to Keith "Oh frik!" and explain the situation. He responds "What's wrong with tomorrow?" and I reply "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve" he laughs and says "No it's not, Christmas Eve is Tuesday!". I immediately believe him and run to computer to avoid making myself look stupid and change my previos blog post from "tomorrow" to "tuesday" in regards to when Christmas Eve is. Whew... close one.

So I continue doing the tasks I need to do and as I'm on the computer I run my mouse past the time and it flashes the date. Thanks Bill! :)

I notice it says December 23rd!! WTF!?!?! Christmas Eve IS tomorrow! So I speed back here to, again, avoid making myself look like an idiot *S* and change "Tuesday" back to "tomorrow".

Point being... don't EVER believe a man.

Christmas is coming...

So it's Christmas Eve tomorrow. It'll be fun, but we won't be with Maximus for a lot of the dat... and that makes me feel bad. Right now I still feel so in limbo that we don't quite enjoy the holidays like we should.

It reminds me a part from a movie I saw called "Garden State" with Zach Braff and Natlie Portman.

Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff): You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.


Sam (Natalie Portman): I still feel at home in my house.


Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff): You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day... one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

I guess this is exactly why. I mean, my family life was in disarray for quite a while with my parents moving to Florida when I was still in school. Now, even though they are back, our lives are settled and we'll be moving closer to them soon I still feel like where we are now is "For the time being" so why bother decorating? You know? Especially for the holidays.

I'm one of those people who takes a lot of pride in what I put into stuff. Especially a house. So I know once we get a house I'll probably find joy in decorating and having family over etc... it's just that right now I sort of feel like it's not worth the effort. We're in too small of a place, it's temporary... I'll wait 'til next Christmas. Is that wrong?

I'm just waiting to create the "new idea" of it for myself. You know?

I guess if I had my own house that I grew up in to return to on the holidays it would feel like Christmas... but I don't. :( But as much as I wish I do, it's a house... I need to get over it *L*

Oh, I forgot you can't touch me!

I don't want to turn my blog into a racial, cultural or religious storm... but I had something laughable happen to me today.

Sure, I think it's weird... but I do understand the differences in various cultures, and I respect that (even if I think it's strange).

Today I was talking to a doctor who is an Orthodox Jew. He's a really awesome doctor, and I often go to talk to him for my job. I always chat with his wife, and the office manager as well.

He's really been very welcoming and polite to me.

As I was getting ready to leave I thanked him for helping to make my first 1/2 year in the field at my job more pleasent... and that's when I put out my hand. Force of habit I guess.

He might have well jumped back in shrieked by the way he looked at me and said "Sorry". That's when I said "Oh yeah, I forgot... sorry... have a happy new year" and ran out mortified. He wasn't allowed to touch me. It's religious thing... or maybe he's lying about his religion and he thinks I have cooties!

I really don't know the exact reason, I think it's that an Orthodox Jewish man cannot touch a non-jewish woman... but I could be totally ignorant here. If anyone can find out for me... I'm really curious.

Generally, I don't put out my hand for doctors... because I see doctors of many races, cultures and religions... so I dont' want to offend anyone. I just forgot today and stuck out my hand out of habit.

I'm a WOP, Nazi, Red Skin, Sawney, Polack

Offended? LOL... it's true... and I think as the PC-ness goes... I'm allowed to say so, because I am??? Stupid, but true.

I'm a WOP for sure... 50% Italian to be exact. Though I was raised in a very Italian area, around my Italian family far more than my father's side... who are many nationalities, but mostly Jewish in religion in culture. Just call me a pizza bagel :)

I'm also part german, scottish, polish and Native American... so I guess I'm a heinz 57. Above everything though, I'm American... and proud of it!

It's just weird to me how I was brought up with the traditions of so many different cultures along with the American ones... it's nice.

Granted, it would be nice if the Italian side of my family could stop being tessatura and make up once in a while.

What is in a background nationality though? How does it define who you are? You're values, your morals and traditions? Is there a time where people just mesh??? I mean, I feel like I'm proud to be who I am... but my nationality doesn't define me... I don't consider myself "Italian" or "German" even being "Catholic" or "Jewish" doesn't define myself to me (though I guess because Judism is a religion, even though much of my fathers family was Jewish... I am technically not)... or any of the things that people throughout history used to define themselves.

To me, I'm surely American... but I'm ME. Maybe it's from living in a melting pot of cultures? Possibly... I guess everyone is different. Sure I love certain traditions and cultures that I experienced throughout life... but I also love other cultures and traditions of people who are different cultures/religions than me! So in the end... I say who cares? We should all just share :)

Max-i-mus Max-i-mus

IMO one of the best movies... up there with LOTR trilogy and some other faves. Obviously this is how my little booger got his name...

See the resemblance of handsome-ness?



Regardless though... last night Keith was sick... so of course Maximus had sympathy pains (until our neighbor came over, because then he HAD to get lovin's). When I went to bed Keith was watching Gladiator, and Maximus was out like a log. I'm talking a pick you up, move you, and you don't even open your eyes when you flop down log.

So I'm watching the movie as I'm falling asleep... cursing Commodus in my head *whimpy devious little bitch*... and the part came when Maximus had to take his helmet/mask off and let the Roman Empire know who he was. So as he was walking out everyone started screaming "Max-i-mus, Max-i-mus" over and over. I didn't expect it... but boy did Maximus jump up and look at that TV!!! "What the hell? I'm sleeping assholes! Can't you tell???... stop cheering my name... yes, I know I'm great... but it's going to have to wait until tomorrow". :D Silly pup.

My friend is sick

When I was growing up I had really close neighbors. A boy and a girl... who my sister and I are still close with to this day. They are like our pseudo siblings.

Keith has the same relationship with the three sisters who lived next door to him growing up. Considering we live in the house he grew up in, and two of the sisters still live there, I've gotten close with them as well. One of the girls, the youngest one, who is the same age as Keith... (the one he was always closest with) recently got sick.

I feel like we're really close now... I can talk to her about pretty much anything. So last night while I was doing work she texted me to see what I was doing. So I told her once I finished I just had to take a walk to the mailbox with Maximus to mail out my expense report for work and then she could come by and hang out.

I could tell she just needed to talk, you know? So I asked the question I knew she was waiting to hear, and the question I was scared to hear the answer to. "So what happened at the doctors? Do they know what's going on?". To make a long story short, she probably has mixed connective tissue disease. Some say this turns to lupus... some say it just ruins your quality of life.

She's only 28 years old... I feel so bad for her. I know it could be worse, but it certainly could be better!!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Man... I think I've ranted on here before... in my short amount of time on Blogspot. We have too many friggin' parties to go to!!!!

We have to plan our own wedding, get through the holidays, plan my MIL's 60th surprise birthday party (and that will be like a wedding!), then my sister's 30th birthday party, throw my cousins bridal shower (because her mom is a tool), then her bachelorette and wedding, three baby showers, two Christenings, two additional bridal showers, another wedding, our family friends 60th birthday, not to mention the regular birthday's and those are only things I know about in the next six months!!

Talk about too much going on when your trying to buy a new house and plan an expensive wedding! Sheesh!

Though, sometimes I feel guilty for complainingg... since the only reason we have so many things to go to is because we have so many friends and family in our lives. So I guess that makes it okay! (Until I'm broke... then I'll be cursing them all!!!).

Not to mention that I spent my friday night working. This job will be the death of me... but I do love it! LOL! It was the end of our budget for the year, so I had a lot of finances to run through to make sure I am reimbursed for what I should be reimbursed for. So yeah... I'm a sick loser who spent her Friday night in with a calculator! *L*

Say what?

Ever say something reaaaaaaally stupid? Yeah, we all have. It's crazy because I'm usually very sensitive to people's feelings. I was raised in a house where racism just didn't exist... not to mention being a huge Heinz 57 myself. However, I also have a father and a fiancee both who have a strong sense of humor and I think that rubbed off on me a bit.

So long story short I was at a baby shower today. We were talking about names around the table, which ones were nice, not nice, etc. I was sitting next to Keith's sister and we alway have this sarcastic sense of humor in our family... even if it's not true we'll say something snarky just to make the other laugh.

So Keith's sister mentioned "I think the name Samara could be nice" and I replied as snarky as possbile "Yeah, if you want your kid to be born with a bone in it's hair". I was thinking more like Pebbles Flinstone (because I knew a girl named Samara who was all tough looking and reminded me of Pebbles flinstone), lol... but one lady said "Oh like tribal or sahara?" and then I realized they took it in a race way.

I sat there thinking how I didn't mean it in a race way, but if I tried to clarify it would make it into more of an issue than it was.

My boot tasted a bit grainy... I'll try not to do that again... though I think it's a fat chance for all of us!

Sorry I've been away...

I know I haven't been blogging for long so it's not like I have any regular readers, you know? But I will apologize for not writing for so long. I've just been so busy.

I'll give you the quick run down. Canada was great! It was so nice to finally meet so many people I've considered friends for so long! The drive was long, but not ridiculous- so we'd certainly do it again! My sister really liked everyone too.

She did leave her coach shoes behind though, lol... and started crying when I informed her of this. But Shelley sent them out right away so it was cool.

Everyone was really sweet, and the dogs were adorable! It was so nice meeting Brina, Jemma, Boo, Skadi, Fingal, Bronwyn, Diego, Spencer, Sydney, Philly, and Boomer (I didn't forget any did I?). Maximus really wishes he could've come... but after all it was big bad Ontario *sticks out tongue*... I hope Michael Bryant rots in hell.

*huggers*

Dropping the "Mom" Bomb

So I've been with my fiancee for over three years. I love his family (yes, I do actually love my in-laws!), and his mother is very sweet. Here's the problem though...

I NEED to start calling my MIL (mother-in-law) "Mom". I look at her like one of my 2nd mom's (I used to look at my Aunt and my old next-door neighbor like 2nd mom's too). The thing is, that I'm in the habit of calling her, her name for so long that it's hard to suddenly change it to "mom".

Sure, I look at her like a mom, when she calls me she says "Hi, it's mom", and has even said "I'll be so honored when you call me mom". I think maybe I'm afraid of my fiancee's family thinking I'm a kiss ass, lol. Not sure.

So how did you go about calling your significant others family "Mom" or "Dad"?

Lastly, did your parent or parents take offense to you calling someone else their rightful "name"?

Meeting old friends for the first time

So tomorrow I leave my urban life in NYC for the weekend. My sister and I are driving up to a little town in Canada to visit a whole boat load of friends... many of whom I've been friends with for about three years!!!

We're staying with a friend Shelley, who once came to NYC- so we've met before. She also met Keith and Maximus. Everyone else who I will see this weekend I've never met, though I feel like I'm closer with them than most people in my life... pretty funny how you can establish such important relationships over the Internet. Eh?

It's funny though, I think to myself... when I meet everyone for the first time in person, do I hug them? Shit, I feel like I'm going to just by instinct... or will I feel like it's really the first time I'm meeting them since I'm used to their "virtual identity"?

Know what would be really funny... if I acted like a weirdo for the first hour or so. Obviously Shelley would have to be in on it since she met me and knows I'm "normal" (depending on what your definition of "normal" is *L*)... but I can easily freak out some people if I added a twitch or a stutter... or even a little bit of tourettes. Now that would rock... you have to admit it!

I'm really excited though, it always seemed like I'd never get to meet everyone who lives in Canada because well... we live in different countries! Though, when it comes down to it- I'm only 7-8 hours away... and I get free gas from my company *S*. Canada here I come!!!!

I have to say though... I don't think I could ever bring myself to do tourist-y things in Ontario. After all... they have a freakin' Pit Bull ban... get a clue Bryant and Bryant ass kissers.... you guys suck!!! Ignorant assholes. I'd hate buying anything there knowing that the taxes from my purchase would support these bastard murderers. But eh, what can you do... hopefully the Ontarians will eventually get this holocaust ended if they scream loud enough.

My sister actually asked me "Am I going to have to deal with a bunch of people who hate Pit Bulls? Because then I can't be nice!", lol... she's so funny. I explained how anyone in Ontario who's actually educated on dogs wouldn't be breedist... it's the average Joe and Jane that believe the nonsense.

I will say that I hate the fact Maximus can't come with us... he would so enjoy hanging out all weekend with new people... and once he gets over the initial fear of new (big) doggies, he'd love being around them too!

So, wish me a safe drive people... I'll be sure to post pics when I get back :)

I'm Your Old Soul

It's funny, I'm currently having a conversation on AIM with my closest cousin. She is 5 years older than me, the same age as my older sister, and we've always hung out. Once I hit 13 I was going out to clubs in NYC with them (though I've been done with that stage of my life for years now).

My sister and I have always been best friends, minus a few years where she was a teenager and I was WAY too young to go out with her... but that didn't mean I couldn't play spin the bottle with her friends when they came over *L* I guess that's why my first kiss was a peck on the lips by a 16 year old... and I was 9. Weirrrrrdo! Alright, the guy was being silly because he knew I had a crush on him anyway... sort of doing a nice thing for a lovestruck young girl... last I heard he's a loser and I'd never look in his direction- HA! Go figure! (Don't even know what made me think of that anyway)

Anyway, point being... I guess I've always been sort of mature for my age. I always felt like I was in charge of making sure everything was okay. An "old soul" some have said. It makes sense to me... but I can't help but wonder how easy life would be without cares or sense of responsibility. Though, I wouldn't change the way I am for the world. I'm happy with me, I'm secure in my intelligence and understanding, proud of what I've grown up to be, and the potential I have for the future. Everyone should be, and if not- that's a damn shame.

Sure, there are plenty of childish things I've done, stupid things that I'd love to take back. It makes me think about how people grow up so much from when they're teenagers, even if their core values were always positive... but I guess everyone has those thoughts. Mistakes are what make us grow into the quality adult versions of ourselves... though for some it takes longer to get there... perhaps more time between mistakes... or more mistakes to learn. Who knows really, it's different for everyone.

I really feel that what shows maturity is not the fact that you do not do foolish things, but more so that when you do, you can recognize it, and fix it. When it comes down to it, I was NEVER a bad person or a bad kid... I was always good, with good intent, and trying to be the perfect version of myself.... where I lacked was surrounding myself with friends who influence me poorly. People like that are poison, and there is no option other than ridding them of your life. The good thing about me is that I made my stupid teenage mistakes young in life and learned from them quickly... not to mention learning from the mistakes of those around me. Ultimately allowing me to become who I am now, much quicker.

A quote I heard recently from one of my favorite TV shows where a couple was getting married and the woman said in a speech at the rehearsal dinner "I am thankful for every mistake I've made in my life, because each and every one has led me to you". That's how I feel. :)

Family Parties

Is it just me or are family parties so frequent that I can't live a normal life? I mean seriously, it's every weekend... two or three parties a week!! There should be a limit on how many parties people should be allowed to hold within a particular time frame because I'm getting so sick of it.

I guess this is going to turn into quite the rant because I'm feeling it! Baby Showers- OMG I can't stand them... just let me send you the present, save the money and spare me of the boredom. Watching someone open gifts for FOUR hours isn't exactly my favorite form of entertainment. Meanwhile we all know why the party is required... because without the party all of the cheapos will get out of sending a present off of the registry! *L*

Though I guess it's nice to get together with family and have a reason to see everyone. It's just that I am generally a woman of moderation- a balance is necessary for me to have piece of mind and these present hungry baboon's are really starting to steal my sanity. ;) Okay, honestly I love giving prezzie's so it's really not about that. It's just that taking both days of my weekend, every weekend really frustrates me... I have things I want to do... errands I want to run... my fiancee and dog I'd like to just relax and unwind with. Not to mention taking care of myself- I barely workout like I used to anymore, and trust me I'm starting to feel it.

Having a big family, both on my side and Keith's side has it's benefits and of course it is something to be thankful for. It's just that having so much family, being me, is sometimes annoying. I'm not known for my patience... and I certainly have selective compassion... and some family members tend to teeter close to the edge with me.

Is it acceptable to take a break from life?? Just for a little while? *hehe*

Hello Blogspot!

I have a few friends that are already on here (hi Prin! I'm here!). So of course I wanted to come and share my world... I love to talk at times, so what better way to get my thoughts from my head to your eyes. :) Though there are other times I don't like to speak... and typing always works best... I guess... I think I'm just babbling now.

I'm engaged to be married in November of '08... exciting right? hehehe- it'd be exciting if you were doing all of the planning for me. Damn, wedding planning is like a job of it's own... guess that's why there are wedding planners, eh? ("eh" has most definitely caught on from my Canadian friends- or at least from me making fun of my Canadian friends, lol).

I am excited to get married though, not so much for wedding day but to be married to my fiancee. Not that I'm trying to start my blog off corny and sentimental (I don't always do sentimental too well, not for myself at least), but when you love someone you get excited for the future with them... everything that is to come... and for that, I am.

So yeah, we have a son-errr-dog... his name is Maximus. We think he may be a "Pogo", not that I'm trying to promote those lame-ass "designer dogs" *cough* mutts *cough* ... since there is NO such thing as a hybrid. But coincidentally, Maximus' mom is American Pit Bull Terrier... but he is certainly not 100% APBT. We've been guessing a performance line American Bulldog or a Dogo Argentino for a while... and according to the Dogo Argentino Assoc. they believe "Pogo"... but that's all bullshit anyway, he's just a really cute white dog who we share our life with and couldn't imagine our life without.


This is Maximus' famous shot we did for Christmas two years ago (he was one year old), think George Costanza from Seinfeld. *L*



So not too much to say right now... but they'll be more, I guarantee it. :)