DOGS!!!!!!!
That's right. That's my new years resolution. When people ask me... don't get involved, remove myself from the conversation. I am too emotionally invested in the topic to be able to walk away satisfied with the average person.
Firstly, while sitting at dinner with my family tonight we were talking about urban areas vs. suburban and middle american areas. How you get lowlives regardless of where you go, just in various concentration. So my uncle mentioned something about the lowlives being the ones who dog fight... and I agreed. I didn't even get into the topic... nobody did when he volunteered the information "But I do believe there are some breeds of dogs that are inherantly -" when I cut him off and said "Please don't say it... just don't talk to me about that please." He continued to say "But I have friends with kids and they raised the dogs nice and the dogs still bit the kids"... and I said "Well then you don't understand the genetics of dogs". My sister jumped up from the table and went inside and we just changed topic... but even though he didn't SAY what I feel he was going to say, I was still bothered. I think he was offended by what I said... but it's better than getting me upset and us fighting about it... IMO at least. (ETA- he was talking about Rottweilers... pulled my sister aside to ask why I cared because he knows Pitties are awesome with kids... but I'm against all breed stereotyping, so I would care anyway!!)
To make it even better, my cousin who I worked with for a long time (you've heard my rants in the past about her), and knows EVERYTHING about puppy mills, BYB's etc from my sister and I is marrying a guy who manages a pet store for his friend that sells puppies and kittens. She decided she wants a "sausage dog" (doesn't even know the breed name)... so my sister brought up the many genetic problems that these dogs have, how they cannot walk up and down stairs, etc etc. She wasn't aware of any of it and replied "Well then we'll build a ramp on our stairs or something" ... well gee... I hope you make it out of velcro and put it on the dogs feet too because I've never met a dog with normal sized legs that could run up a steep enough slope as a flight of stairs!! (hence the reason they are stairs and not just a ramp!)
Regardless, she pulls my sister aside and whispers "Listen, don't tell anyone (meaning me probably) but my fiancee can get a good deal through his pet store and he says they're from breeders in Delaware, not puppy mills... so we're going to do that". So my sister started telling her how it's not true that the dogs are from reputable breeders when my cousin snarkily said "Well, where'd you get Milo from?"... and she explained that she was young (7 years ago!) and it was a huge mistake because she was uneducated about the topic, and that's why she rescued when she decided to get a second dog. So my cousin rolled her eyes... and wherever the convo went, it went. Of course my sister told me this after they left to avoid me "Ka-booming". I felt like there was a fire in my stomach. Of ALL people SHE should know better... but the problem is that she's a whimp with an a$$hole fiancee and let's him brainwash her into his stupidity.
So... as we were driving home Keith and I had a long talk about it... and how it gets me SO upset. We came to the conclusion that from this point on, I just can't preach to people anymore, they aren't worth my breath. I will live my life by example... I have no choice. If someone is going to ask me training advice, advice on how to obtain a dog, what breed to get, yadda yadda... and then just go do what they want anyway... only to hurt ME, why do they deserve to pick my brain in the first place????
So I've decided that I will only be talking about dog related issues on these forums from now on. This is "my part". Other people just don't deserve my knowledge... I've been burned one to many times and emotionally don't have thick enough skin to take it anymore.
I just know that if my cousin does get a puppy from a pet store... I'll look at her even worse than I ever have in my life and it will most likely make me distance myself from her from everything except for "as needed" situations. The worst part is that I'm her maid of honor for her wedding.
So now... I didn't want to carry on much on the forums, but on a blog it's different. Blogs are for carrying on.
So in one night I had my aunt tell me about her friend with two BYB labs who failed to get them altered and now have 5 lab puppies that she's going to "give" away. Thankfully my aunt told her off in a tough love kind of way... good for her!!! Then the uncle comment, then my cousin and then to top off the fucking night...
My BIL's brother (who I guess is my BIL too) is/was engaged to a woman. Long story but they are on a "break" and he's living with his other brother until he knows what is going on with them. They adopted a dog from the city Animal Care & Control about a year ago. She's a cat person, he's a dog person. He's been out of their apartment for not even a week when I get this email from my websites contact form:
Subject: giving my dog up for adoption
Question/Comment: Hi, this is for *my name*, we are related. I need to give *dogs name* up for adoption and I know she knows where to place him. Please have her contact me as soon as possible. Thank you.
She doesn't know that I know they're on a "break"... so immediately I call my BIL to let him know that she's trying to get rid of his dog behind his back. What is wrong with people? I feel like everyday dealing with people makes me die a little inside... it breaks me down, breaks my spirit and makes me lose hope in the human race, in the obviously cruel world that we live in. I always prided myself on being able to look at the good in the world... but when there is so much bad I find it so hard to do.
Can I say "they won"? Because I'm broken... I'm beside myself at how people are willing to make the wrong decision while knowing the right one. And my biggest question of all is: Why is doing the right thing, taking the high road always the hardest road? Why is the wrong decision always the easier thing to do?
4 comments:
If I were religious in any way, I'd answer "well live the example of Jesus" and that should be explanation enough... although it isn't.
I think that if only one person in ten heeds your good advice, listens and learns... and then in turn converts one more person... etc... it is all better than converting ZERO.
How else is knowledge going to be transferred?
No, you cannot convert everyone into good, responsible and caring dog owners. Unfortunately the world sucks that way.
But one at a time... that is doable. I am doing it - I have no choice. I am bound to this earth by deeper faith than letting abherent human turds get me down.
Raaaaagh!!
I completely agree Techno. See my problem is that I expect too much from people. I stupidly expect people to be more like me... you know, considerate, caring and see things as the big picture.
Unfortunately because of that STUPID STUPID trait I am let down quite often.
Like how on Saturday I had a convo with my cousin-in-law to be about how horrible real fur was. How I get upset because no matter how much I tell my MIL to be this, she ends up getting me at least one item every Christmas with real fur. Today (Christmas, or technically yesterday) my MIL gave her a huge rabbit fur scarf and she went insane about how much she loved it. I wanted to puke.
Then she insisted on wearing it all night and I had to look at the damn thing.
I don't have thick enough skin to consistantly be let down. I wish someone could teach me how, but it's so hard and with someone like me I think the only option would be to let myself grow into a stone cold bitch with everyone... and I don't want that. So I feel that I should try and stay out of these topics in my real life... in a way that lets people know I don't want to deal with their ignorant asses about it. Then at least I Heart Paws will educate many more... that can be the minimum of "my part".
As strong of a person as I am... I just can't take it anymore. I feel broken... honestly.
Aww. :(
I don't have thick skin either, but I've learned to let it go. I say my peace, and assume that even if it doesn't sink in today, I've still activated some sort of thought process in them that might one day lead to a change of actions...
I still try though, because like techno said, if it helps one doggy, it's worth all the pain of all the other ones that failed.
(hugs)
(hugs)
It's hard. All I can say is that you learn to pick your battles sometimes. Talk to those who you can get through to, and if you can't, like Prin said-you've said your piece and maybe it will linger in someone's mind and activate some thought process.
There's a difference between choosing to expend yourself in a way that will have an effect and standing by and doing nothing. Be a living example of what you believe and you have no idea of who you'll reach and inspire.
Maybe this generation of your in-laws rave about wearing fur; the next generation will have you as an example, too-and they will ask you why you don't wear fur. A quiet but heartfelt explanation from you could well be more influential than the fur-wearers.
Hang in there, Angel.
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