It's funny, I'm currently having a conversation on AIM with my closest cousin. She is 5 years older than me, the same age as my older sister, and we've always hung out. Once I hit 13 I was going out to clubs in NYC with them (though I've been done with that stage of my life for years now).
My sister and I have always been best friends, minus a few years where she was a teenager and I was WAY too young to go out with her... but that didn't mean I couldn't play spin the bottle with her friends when they came over *L* I guess that's why my first kiss was a peck on the lips by a 16 year old... and I was 9. Weirrrrrdo! Alright, the guy was being silly because he knew I had a crush on him anyway... sort of doing a nice thing for a lovestruck young girl... last I heard he's a loser and I'd never look in his direction- HA! Go figure! (Don't even know what made me think of that anyway)
Anyway, point being... I guess I've always been sort of mature for my age. I always felt like I was in charge of making sure everything was okay. An "old soul" some have said. It makes sense to me... but I can't help but wonder how easy life would be without cares or sense of responsibility. Though, I wouldn't change the way I am for the world. I'm happy with me, I'm secure in my intelligence and understanding, proud of what I've grown up to be, and the potential I have for the future. Everyone should be, and if not- that's a damn shame.
Sure, there are plenty of childish things I've done, stupid things that I'd love to take back. It makes me think about how people grow up so much from when they're teenagers, even if their core values were always positive... but I guess everyone has those thoughts. Mistakes are what make us grow into the quality adult versions of ourselves... though for some it takes longer to get there... perhaps more time between mistakes... or more mistakes to learn. Who knows really, it's different for everyone.
I really feel that what shows maturity is not the fact that you do not do foolish things, but more so that when you do, you can recognize it, and fix it. When it comes down to it, I was NEVER a bad person or a bad kid... I was always good, with good intent, and trying to be the perfect version of myself.... where I lacked was surrounding myself with friends who influence me poorly. People like that are poison, and there is no option other than ridding them of your life. The good thing about me is that I made my stupid teenage mistakes young in life and learned from them quickly... not to mention learning from the mistakes of those around me. Ultimately allowing me to become who I am now, much quicker.
A quote I heard recently from one of my favorite TV shows where a couple was getting married and the woman said in a speech at the rehearsal dinner "I am thankful for every mistake I've made in my life, because each and every one has led me to you". That's how I feel. :)
2 comments:
Yeah, I'm there too. I had the most toxic people surrounding me and I learned from their mistakes.
We're not old souls. They're all just catching up.
It's the advantage of hanging out with older people-you get to see what not to do as they do it. :) Then you can avoid it.
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